just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
