Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
