He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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