he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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