Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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