i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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