Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize