your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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