Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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