Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
