i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
