I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
