i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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