what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
