If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didn't notice because vodka
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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