Apparently you make a good broom.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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