so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
