Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
