My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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