You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize