I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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