it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
