I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
