My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
