Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
