its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i think my cat just said my name.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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