I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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