Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize