is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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