I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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