You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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