I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
