Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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