3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
