I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
