It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
