What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
