I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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