So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
