Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
