i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
