im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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