i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
