I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
