The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's shark week go big or go home
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
