Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
