If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize