Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
