we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
