The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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