I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
