Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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