what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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