So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
why is half of my head shaved?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
