My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
