tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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