So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize