what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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