i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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