laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
