I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
