Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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