You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
