he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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