i think my tv is drunk
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I need moral support for this bender
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
