AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
