Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
