Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize